There’s a factory, somewhere in Dublin, and it makes circles. It makes big circles, and it makes little circles. Red ones, blue ones and green ones. Every few years the team of circle designers changes, but the circles keep coming. Not everyone likes the colour of the circles. In fact, there’s rarely if ever a circle whose colour pleases everyone. The lads in charge of the circles at this particular moment are so incredibly unpopular that almost everyone hates the circles they produce, but the circles keep coming because hey – people need circles.
There’s also this one lad, right, and his job is to make sure the circles aren’t squares. He knows some people like blue circles and some people like red circles, but that’s not his fucking business. He’s the guy that checks for squares, not the guy that decides what colour the circles are. If a circle is a circle, it passes. If the circle is a square, he throws it back.
So if you like red circles, and the factory is making blue circles, do you start abusing the lad for not calling them squares?
Good. Then stop shouting at Higgins. Irish Water isn’t a square, it’s just a circle we don’t like the colour of.