“Let not the word of the Lord be hindered by people or land / rather, let it spread across all lands / and may those who heed not the word of the Lord be smitten / because it’s your job to wave your faith in everyone else’s fucking face until the end of time” – Jobriath, 12:6
Next April, Ireland votes on same-sex marriage, and from the look of it a few other tasty bits and pieces may be on the table too. All opinion polls are pointing towards a staggeringly high “yes” vote, assuming of course the referendum isn’t worded Irish-style like previous abortion referenda have been (Do you wish to end the legislation that makes it not illegal to ban same sex marriages between people of different genders that aren’t married YES/NO). Not only is a massive victory on the cards, but a large turnout is expected too. While I’m delighted that the Irish public tend to show up for massive, long-term social issues, it’s a bit disappointing that they don’t show up for elections, but I’ll take it. And sure, it’s easy to be smug and offensive when a win is so close, but I’d like to take a few minutes to consider the people that are voting no to this.
Opposition to gay marriage – that’s optional marriage for gay people that nobody is forcing straight/religious/anyone to enter into – can only be explained in two ways OTHER than a complete and utter lack of basic common logic. The first is my ol’ pal religion.
The loudest mating call of the god-squad at the moment is “It’s a threat to heterosexual marriage”. Except that it’s simply not true in the slightest. Really, though, no. Would vegetarians feel threatened by the knowledge that somewhere out there someone is eating meat? Nobody has thus far been able to explain in any way,shape or form how a gay marriage impacts a straight one, other than increased market opportunities for planners, bands, florists, and – if they’d stop being such fucking dicks about it – churches. Imagine all the poor god-fearing folk, just about to get down to their annual missionary position intercourse for the sole purpose of procreation, when suddenly both shudder and immediately roll in different directions at the mere thought that somewhere some men might be filing their tax jointly. Imagine the disappointment in the eyes of a good conservative man, having just raised the veil of his wife-to-be and about to seal their union in the eyes of god and man, when he realises that a couple of lesbians are allowed visit each other in the hospital.
The other reason to stop homosexuals that love each other from getting married is quite simple, and I must stress NOT the same as being religious. It can be described as nothing other than bigotry. Gay couples can’t be good parents? Well shit, I’m fairly sure most of the heavyweight criminals in this country were raised in traditional marriages. And if you’re THAT worried about gay parenting, why not ask yourself this – isn’t it straight couples that keep having all these gay babies?
Nobody is asking homophobes to have gay sex, or marry gay people, or even like them. In fact, nobody’s asking you to even talk to gay people, or talk about them, or anything to do with them. In FACT, nobody’s asking straight people to actually DO or SAY a fucking THING. Just to stop keeping others from doing their own thing. Is that really so hard?
Too bad, you’re still acting like assholes. Vote yes to single-sex marriage or stay the fuck at home.