Our day is here – Vote Gary

As many of you out there in Cpw land will now be aware, the time has come for the most important time of the year. What’s that Blumpkine? Christmas? No, not Christmas. Year end? HA! Been there, done that. No, it’s time for the annual glorification of our favourite support centre team member. For those that are unfamiliar, in a wondrous and mystical land called Santry, at the top of an ivory tower called Omni, there is an office. From this office, all the magical things that keep us working happen. From the lowly price tiles to the lofty iPhones, the humble sim card to the all-consuming Xerox, they all stem from this wonderful office

Why the preamble, you wonder? Well it’s simple. In this place, this hub, this stupendous source of superlative stuff, there is a man. A man with the power to make the deliveries come on time. A man who makes the in transits go away. A man who can turn a half-complete request into a shimmering, gleaming RMA with nary a delay. Who is this man? This paragon of virtue? The Don of Deliveries? The Royal Ruler of Returns? The Opulent Operational Organ?

 

Gary.

Fucken.

Cronin.

 

Starting from humble beginnings as one of our very own, a mere till monkey like you or I, Gary saw what needed to be done on numerous occasions and – with no thought for himself – did whatever needed doing. A jack of all trades, and master of most. Earlier today, I caught up with him and asked where he stood on the issues….

 

 

1. What would you call your core beliefs
– Flexibility, reliability, professionalism.
2. Where do you stand on the pressing issues of the day?
– On the right.
3. How is a vote for Gary different from a vote for Barry
– A vote for Gary is a vote for someone who has been in the frontline trenches with the rest of the force en mass, who cut his teeth with the best of people in Retail.
4. If you win, how will you be using your newfound fame for the greater good?
– iPhones for all, more work nights out.
 
5. How do you respond to the allegations of corruption and vote-rigging that have surrounded the campaign?
– Next question…..
So there you have it. A man of the people, and one of our own. Incredibly humble about the gargantuan stature of his work, and yet not afraid to address the issues head-on.
NEXT ISSUE – Debunking the opposition…..
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Our day is here – Vote Gary

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